The End and The Beginning

Yesterday I did one of the most important and most painful things I have ever done.

I said goodbye to the man I have loved with all my heart since the day we met almost three years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I love this man so very much but sometimes love just isn't enough. I have so much love to give but he never really accepted much of what I was trying to give. He always kept me shut out of his heart and his life. I cannot make him open himself up; that's something he has to want to do. He obviously still isn't ready after all this time. I held on to the hope and my incredible love for him perhaps longer than I should have. I will always love him and there will always be an empty spot in my heart where he used to be.

As much as it hurts to say goodbye, it was hurting me more to hold on. It's time to move on without him. I have so much love to give and it is time to start giving it to myself and to those that will willingly accept it.

I have been doing a lot of thinking today and have come to realize that life is supposed to be what I make it and not the other way around. Life does not make me who I am or at least it shouldn't. This is what I have been doing for so many, many years. I have let life and the world around me tell me how to think, feel, act and be and have been miserable and depressed for as long as I can remember because of it.

It's time for change!

My life will not define me; I will define my life.

This is where the old life and the old me ends. This is where the new me and the new life begins.

This is my journey.

This IS  My Awakening to Life!!